From the next room, I heard my niece giggling with her friends. My extra bedroom had started as the birthday party spot for them to hang out in their sleeping bags, giggling about cute boys in their class, back when they were kids. Now they were all in college but it was still an annual tradition to spend the night at my house, probably still giggling about boys. I couldn’t believe she had just turned 19.
I didn’t mind their laughter echoing through my house, and I looked the other way when their bags clinked suspiciously like cheap wine coolers. It was a nice change of pace from the usual stillness that comes with living alone.
And then I saw it, though the crack in door. They had my ouija board.
“What should we ask it?” said one girl, her voice small and barely above a whisper. Their fingers were tentatively touching the smooth wooden planchette, and they looked at each other nervously, no one daring to speak. The air felt electric.
“Okay, girls,” I said, bursting through the door and making them all jump and burst into nervous giggles. I swept up empty chip bags, half-eaten bowls of popcorn and, I hope they didn’t notice, the ouija board and planchette. “I’m heading to bed, but if you need anything just knock on my bedroom door, okay?”
After a round of “good nights” I closed the door behind me, wondering if my niece and her friends could hear my heart hammering against my sternum. How could I have been so stupid? Leaving my board in the closet with the Parcheesi and Scrabble as though it were just another game? That was too close. They were young adults now, not kids anymore. What if they had contacted… him?
What if he had answered?
I dumped the trash and dirty dishes in the kitchen and carried the board back to my bedroom so I could hide it properly. It stared at the back of my head from the bed as I got undressed and put on some shorts and an old t-shirt. I could feel it there, leering, as I brushed my teeth in my en suite bathroom, taking longer than normal to floss.
This is silly, I thought. I’m 37 years old. Why am I still scared of that thing?
But I knew why. I knew exactly why.
It was the same reason I was still single, after all these years. The same reason I didn’t even get on dating apps anymore.
No one could compare to…
I tried to walk over to the board and shove it under my bed. I swear I tried. But like so many nights, I found my fingers caressing the planchette. Placing it on the board, I sighed.
“Hello?” I whispered.
Without hesitation, the planchette slowly slid across the board. To anyone else, it might have looked like it was simply off-kilter atop my comforter, like the planchette had just slid a bit when I put it down on the well-worn wood.
But I knew better.
It came to a stop: Hello.
“Whom am I speaking to?”
I watched the planchette slowly drift to the letter L.
L… my mysterious L. It was always L, it had been since I was 18 and first laughed with my friends. Younger than my niece was right now. We played with the board together during a night of teen drinking after prom, before the party dissolved into making out with our dates. Everyone left hungover the next day, and the board had been forgotten, so I had crammed it into my bag and took it home.
Along with L.
“Hello L,” I whispered.
Hello… and then the board moved to the corner where there was a little heart in the flourishes bordering the rest of the letters and numbers.
I thought about the first night he had contacted me. Or, I guess… technically I had contacted him. I was the one who had picked up that planchette after all. My prom night hadn’t really gone the way I had planned. My date had fallen asleep with barely a kiss goodnight while I tossed and turned, trying not to hear the happier couples kissing and sighing in the dark of the hotel room we were all sharing. I was lonely. I was so devastatingly lonely, the way only a teenager can be when she had hoped to lose her virginity and then… didn’t.
I was quiet for a moment and then watched the planchette move again, to spell out what I knew it would.
I sat on my bed, leaned back against the headboard, and closed my eyes. I wanted to say no. But I whispered what I always did.
Hello, love. You look delicious tonight.
His breathy, deep voice filled my mind. It was like he was in the room with me, speaking into my ear. I swear I could feel his hand on my thigh. But I knew if I opened my eyes, the spell would be broken, and he would disappear.
I hesitated. What do you say to a ghost? Or demon? Or angel? Whatever L was, he had been with me for nearly two decades and it still sent shivers up my spine when I heard his silky voice.
He had told me once that it took too much energy to be corporeal in this realm, whatever that means. So he stayed in my head. He’s still real, I told myself. But how real could he be if he only existed in my mind? There were days I thought maybe I was crazy. Like, legitimately crazy. But…
Cat got your tongue? Or maybe something else does?
I gasped as L kissed me, deeply, nipping at my tongue.
Still nothing to say, my darling?
“Don’t stop,” I whispered. I wished I could pull his face close to mine and kiss him as deeply as he kissed me. I knew better, though. Whenever I tried it, my fingers grasped at thin air. I had to wait. I had to let him control it.
L chuckled, that low laugh I loved so much. I felt him pet my forehead. I love it when you beg like the good girl you are. Maybe you should beg some more.
I felt the tips of his fingers travel up my thigh. “Please…” I said in a half-moan that got caught in my throat as his hand slid into my shorts.
Yes, begging sounds perfect coming from your lips. And I have I ever mentioned how much I love that you don’t wear panties to bed?
He kissed me again and I gasped as his fingers plunged into me. I wanted to reach out and grab him, but instead had to be satisfied clenching the bedsheets in my fists, almost as though he had me tied down. Over the years, L had memorized my body. He could bring me to orgasm in minutes, and there were times he had, when he was too hungry to wait. But this time, as that wave built inside me, I felt him slow down. The thrusts of his fingers grew shallow and then he pulled them out completely.
“No,” I whimpered softly. “Don’t go. Please don’t go.”
He chuckled again in my mind. Don’t worry. I’m not nearly done with you yet.
“Then why did you stop?”
Because I need to taste you. Take off your pajamas, my love. I want to taste every inch of what’s mine.
I pulled my t-shirt over my head and immediately felt his mouth on me, sucking hard one one nipple as he rolled the other between his fingers. I moaned as his teeth grazed me and shimmied out of my shorts, careful to keep my eyes closed. I knew his bites would turn into little red and purple marks staining my skin for days, giving me proof that L was real. I cursed under my breath as I felt him bite down near my collarbone.
Too hard? Shall I stop?
“Harder,” I breathed, my voice raspy. I wanted his marks to last on my skin as long as possible. I could touch them, look at them in the mirror, and know he existed. That I wasn’t crazy.
Good girl. My good girl.
I felt him leave a trail of marks back down my chest, each one making me gasp. Once, a man I met on Tinder had nibbled my neck gently as we made out after our date, and I had pushed him away, explaining that my pain tolerance was super low. And it was; I wasn’t lying. But for L? For him, I could endure it. I wanted it.
L’s kisses and bites trailed down my stomach until he was between my legs. I felt him push my knees wide apart. My face warmed, and I buried it in a pillow. He was looking at me. I just knew it.
You are so cute when you blush.
His tongue found my clit and swirled around it, gently at first and then faster until I was writhing against him. He paused to lick slowly up my slit, and then bit my thigh gently.
You have no idea how good you taste. No fucking idea. His tongue parted my lips again and flicked at my clit faster than should be possible.
“You have no idea how good that feels,” I whispered, trying not to cry out as he stopped licking to suck hard.
Show me. Show me how good this feels, love.
I felt his fingers thrust into me again as he licked and sucked my clit. Fuck, I was so close.
I want to feel you orgasm for me. I want to feel your pussy throb around my fingers. Be my good girl. Give me your orgasm.
I moaned, moving my hips against him.
That’s right. Fuck yourself with my fingers. Faster. I want you to cum for me hard. I need you to cum for me hard. Who’s pussy is this?
“Yours,” I moaned without hesitation. “Oh fuck.”
Cum for me, good girl. Cum now.
A shudder went through my entire body as I exploded, clenching around his fingers. I felt him moan, burying his face in my pussy to lap up my orgasm. My body tingled and grew cold, as he drew energy out of me. Every orgasm calmed his hunger, gave him the life force he needed. I could do this for him, and he was always careful not to take too much.
I had asked him once if he had ever taken too much from another girl, and he had gone quiet.
I wouldn’t do that to you. I would never do that to you, my perfect love, he had whispered.
Which meant, of course, the answer was yes. He had taken too much.
And what had he told that girl? Had he just taken her without her permission, fucked her and sucked her life away just to satiate his own needs? Or had he promised to be careful, like he told me, and gone overboard?
Which scenario was worse?
Was she young, like I had been when he met me? Like my niece was now? Her face flashed in my mind. Was it more than one girl? Fuck, was he still doing it? Was I the exception to a lifestyle where he drained girls dry? I knew he had to be visiting other girls. I wasn’t enough to sustain him alone.
He had petted my hair at the time when I asked, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it, until eventually he had drifted away without even saying goodbye. He hadn’t replied to me for weeks, and I had been terrified that he was gone forever.
But L had come back. L always came back for me.
Good girl. Good fucking girl, he was saying, and I forced the thought of dead girls out of my mind. This felt good. My skin felt prickly all over, and my core began to warm again as he finished taking from me. L always kept me safe. It didn’t just feel good; it felt right. I wanted to be exhausted, for him. He wouldn’t take to much. I had to trust him.
Fuck, I want to drink you up. Whose good girl are you?
“Yours,” I moaned again, feeling him take one last drag from me, like I was a fancy cigar he wanted to savor.
That’s fucking right. Mine.
I felt him grab my hips and flip me over like I weighed nothing. I gasped as his fingers entered me again, and involuntarily tried to wriggle away. I was too sensitive. Oh god. It hurt so good. I cried out into my pillow.
Good try, love, but this is my pussy. You aren’t going anywhere. Unless you want me to stop?
What’s that? He was close to my ear now, whispering. Didn’t hear you. Do you want me to stop, love?
“No,” I whispered, my voice shaky. I felt his fingers deep inside me, filling me completely.
Your pussy is so wet right now, love. I’ve got three fingers in you. Does that feel good, my darling?
“Yeeeessss,” I moved against him ever so slightly.
Let’s see if you can take four.
He pressed into me, stretching me open from behind and making me pant.
Fuck, I love feeling you so tight around my fingers. But you know what I like even more?
“What?” I whispered.
Feeling you tight around my cock.
L pulled his fingers out of me, but I knew I wouldn’t be empty for long. I heard him groan softly as he entered me, and balled my fists in the sheets again. God, he was so big. Every time he visited me, I was deliciously sore for days.
He pushed into me slowly, deeper and deeper until he was fully inside. His hands grasped my hips as he held there, not moving, and I felt him kiss the back of my neck.
Better than I remembered. Fuck, you fit around me so perfectly. This pussy is definitely mine. Isn’t it?
“My pussy is you-” The last word hitched in my throat as he pulled out halfway and thrust back into me. And then again. And again. He pulled my hips toward him and picked up speed, biting down on my shoulder hard.
Fuck. Good girl. My good fucking girl. His voice was a growl now. It used to scare me, but now I craved hearing that low, rumbling snarl, the one that made my heart race. I loved hearing him lose control, as long as it was only for a few minutes. I had to trust that he’d find control again, not take everything from me in his hunger. I clenched around his cock as tightly as I could.
Fuuuuck, love, I can feel that. Do that again.
I clenched again and he moaned, loudly. I was glad his voice was only in my mind, because I’m pretty sure the sounds he was making would wake up the entire neighborhood, let alone the slumber party down the hall, if he were actually in my room.
You want me to fill up that tight little pussy with my cum?
“Oh god, yes,” I said, moving back against him in perfect rhythm. His cock hit my g-spot with every thrust, and I felt my legs start to shake.
I am unconvinced.
He slowed his thrusts and then stopped, fully in me, and I whined in protest.
Beg for it. If you really want me to fill you with cum, beg. Whose slut are you?
“I’m yours,” I spit out in a whine. I tried to move, but he held my hips firmly.
And what do you want, slut?
“Please fuck me. Please fuck me until you cum.”
You want to feel me cum inside you? He started to move again, slowly.
“Oh god, yes. Pleasssseeee…”
Who else gets to cum inside you? His thrusts picked up a little speed again.
“Only you. Just you. This is your pussy. Please cum in me. Please.” The words tumbled out of my mouth, my voice almost unrecognizable.
Listen to you beg, like the good girl you are. There was a smirk in his voice as he thrust hard. I’m going to fuck my pussy until I cum hard, and I want you to take it all. I don’t want a single drop to drip out of you.
“Yes, sir.” I surprised myself, calling him sir. He always took control of our time together, but I had never called him anything like that before. It just tumbled out in the moment, like it was the perfect natural thing for me to call him.
Mmmm that sounds good on your lips. Say it again.
You’re going to orgasm again for me as I cum in you, aren’t you, my pretty little slut? You’re going to feed me with that tight fucking pussy, aren’t you?
“Yes, sir. Oh fuck.” His thrusts came hard and fast again now, more erratic, and I felt his fingers dig into my hips as he pulled himself into me deeper and deeper. Please stay in control, I prayed.
Now, my good little slut. That velvet growl in my ear sent a shiver traveling up my spine. Cum for me now.
I muffled my scream into my pillow as my body obeyed him, throbbing hard. A split second later he roared, and I felt him explode in me, once, twice, three times, four. God, he always came so much. More than seemed possible. I felt his cock throb again as he held still inside me, and my body exploded in prickles all over as he drank my energy during our tandem orgasm. It was more than I had every tingled before, and I instantly felt my body growing cold. My head swam as he pushed it down.
Ass up, my good girl. I don’t want a single drop leaking out of you. Fuck, that feels good. I could stay like this all night.
“I want you to,” I whispered, feeling faint. Waves of euphoria washed over me the colder I got. I was floating.
He paused. You know I could if you just said yes.
L had told me before, more than once, that he could take me with him when he left. I could be fully his, the only energy he’d ever need. A human living in his realm would be an never-ending supply of energy, he explained. He could drink me dry every night without worrying about hurting me. He could be free from his hunger.
But if I said yes, I couldn’t come back to this world.
My body would be a husk that my family would bury and cry over. I couldn’t return to it. This would be a one-way ticket.
I swallowed hard. I wanted to say yes. I really did. But what if I was making a deal with the devil? How much could I trust a demon who lived in my head?
He stayed inside me a moment longer, not saying anything, and then pulled out slowly, just before I passed out. I gasped for air, not realizing I had been holding my breath, and tried not to move. I could feel his cum leaking out of me already. He didn’t actually seem to mind. I felt his arms around me, pulling me to his side. My teeth chattered as I shivered, and he wrapped his arms around me, rubbing me to try to warm the coldness inside.
I don’t want to pressure you. His fingers lazily played with my nipples. They were so sensitive it almost hurt, but I didn’t want him to stop. Anything I could give him, he could have. I have survived for millennia without a princess by my side. You can be my good girl from right here, okay? You are my good girl, right?
“Mmmhmm.” I fought the urge to open my eyes. I wanted to feel tangled up in L as long as I could. I didn’t want him to leave.
I want to give you a gift, then, my good girl.
“What kind of gift?”
Look at me.
Look at me.
I slowly opened my eyes, just a crack at first, and then wider. They tried to focus, but couldn’t. The room had an eerie silver-blue glow, and L was beside me. I stared into his face. He was terrifying. He was beautiful. He was mine.
And in a split second, he was fading away.
“No. No! I’ll close my eyes again. Please stay. Please!”
I love hearing you beg, love.
“Then please stay. Please.”
I promise I’ll be back when I can. And though you may be the one begging, my mind will be consumed by you until we meet again, love.
I blinked, and like always, he was gone.
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